Ahh... I can't figure it all out.
I wish the Bible was written like a catechism or statement of faith.
Why do I find more than one answer to the question "What must I do..."? And neither of the answers Jesus gives sounds like the typical evangelical gospel message and sinners prayer.
What is the deal with God's wrath. Does God love sinners, or does he want to torture them for eternity? If God hates sinners can I too? (No - just in-case you think I'm really nuts). But there are verses that speak of God's wrath. I want to ignore them, but they are there.
I don't buy that my sin separated God from me. I understand that when I go my selfish ways, like the prodigal son, I am separating myself from God. But do I ever go so far that God is not able to reach out and love me in my sinfulness? While we were sinners Christ loved us. Satan was even in God's presence in Job. Jesus was a friend of sinners.
Why did God have to kill Jesus? Or was it my sins that killed Jesus? Was it simply to symbolize an end to the Jewish sacrifice system, being the final perfect lamb of God? Or is there also a meaning that I (a non-Jew) need to understand? Because to be honest, I don't understand why a loving Father would kill his own son.
I know God loves me.
I know he wants to reign in my life, be my Lord, and be my Savior.
I know he wants me to respond in love to himself and to others.
I know I need to learn to listen to His voice, and follow.
I'm just not sure what to do with some of our beliefs. Do I focus on the verses that speak of God's wrath towards sinners, or do I focus on the verses that speak of God's love and desire to be in a deep relationship with me.
Do I need to figure it all out? Or should I just start living?
Disclaimer: About This Blog
THIS BLOG IS: my personal journey of how I am rethinking some of my spiritual beliefs.
THIS BLOG IS NOT: intended to point fingers at people who I think are wrong.
I do not believe the final judgement will be based on how many correct answers we get on a theology exam. I believe many people throughout history have had genuine relationships with our Lord and Saviour Jesus, despite holding questionable beliefs and practices. I make no claim to having it all figured out or being your judge. If we end up disagreeing over these topics I pray we can find a way to demonstrate grace.